THE EDUCATIONAL PSYCHOLOGISTS OF THE NATIONAL ADOPTION CENTRE HAVE PREPARED A STEP-BY-STEP ALGORITHM ON THE SUBJECT "HOW TO HELP ANOTHER PERSON IN ANGER?

    Anger arises for three reasons:

- feeling of unbearable helplessness

- psychological boundary violation

- physical boundary violation

How to help another person in anger? Here is a step-by-step algorithm.

1. - Spell out the person's emotions: "I can see you're angry", "It's okay to be angry", "I understand you're angry/distressed".
2. - Helping to process the emotion in a friendly way. An emotion as a response to an irritant lasts from a few seconds to 12 minutes, so at this time it would be best to just help the person get over the emotion without trying to negotiate.

What can be done?

Give a physical outlet to the emotion: jump, stomp, shout, give a warm drink, water, help the person to breathe again.

3. - Establish visual, if possible tactile contact with the person. Hug (if possible and appropriate), make eye contact.
4. - Let the person talk (find out the reason for the anger, without assessing the situation).
5. - Give support, a resource "I will help you to cope", "I believe you can do it".
6. - Give alternative solutions to the conflict situation:

*If the reason for anger is unbearable helplessness, offer help

*If the reason for anger is a violation of personal boundaries, point out personal boundaries (psychological and physical).

7. - Negotiate. The main thing is to say: " We have reached an agreement with you ".

National Adoption Centre